Random Ramblings

I heart tissues at this very moment

2007-12-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

I am officially out of tissues to blow my red, dried, puffed-up, stuffed-up nose. That is tissue box in my room, my bathroom, and on my desk. Count them, three, all in one weekend. Oooohh, misery!

2007-02-25T12:51:00.000-08:00

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love that matters." The Final Kiss

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T14:01:00.000-08:00

Words to live by

2005-08-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

Stand together and yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple, in order to hold up the temple, stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress do not grow in each other's shadow

Excerpts from The Prophet-Marriage

Don't ever grow in anybody's shadow, you cannot grow in someone else's shadow. You find your own sunlight and you get as big and wonderful and as glorious as possible. And you share, telling them, "Let's communicate, let's talk, let's let it happen." But it doesn't happen in someone else's shadow. There you wilt, you forget who you are, you lose you and if you've lost you, you've lost the most essential thing you have. So I am one and one but we're two and we're together. You're an "I". I am an "I" and we are together an "us".
Words to practice and live by from Leo Buscaglia. So true...

My tribute to Armstrong

2005-07-27T02:37:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't deliberately fall, but these made a nice tribute to all those franatics who rode the Tour.

The way this happened was pure stupidity and I was only one short block away biking home from work which is only 1.5 miles through downtown. PURE. STUPIDITY. And you know something, if you've witnessed some of my scars and road rashes, you know this won't be my last one. Although now my front wheel is bent and so is the handle bar. Quite amazing is that I didn't fall that hard. I have gone through worse spills than this without damaging the bike, scratched up but not damaged. Coincidentally, I stopped by the bike shop in town that is closing its door after this month on my way home before I took the spill. Maybe this is telling me something. Maybe there is a new bike in the near future.

Thoughts #3

2005-04-24T02:46:00.000-07:00

Things over heard today:

As I was coming around a bend on the hiking trial, I can hear rambunctious kids ahead of me. The dismay father tried to contain them. Finally he offered "If you calm down now, I have cookies for you guys." Seems counter-intuitive to offer sugar so they can CALM down, but we've all done it before.

The same kids after getting the cookies now runs ahead of the father. An eight year old, glee with the treat urges the other girls "Hurry up, maybe we can catch up to the boys so we can TEASE them with these cookies." Hmmm... Apparently we start at a young age.

Miss American Pie

2005-03-26T02:27:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday night, Kelli threw me a citizenship dinner at her house. Various emails were exchanged about the event. I would have really liked to bring some small items to the party, but Kelli didn't want me to go through the trouble. I had no idea what was planned or what we are all doing. So this was what they were all up to.

The only thing I know was that I was to show up at 2:30 because Aidan has a baseball practice at 3:00pm. I planned to bring my long lens camera to take some action shots. It should be cool. Well, knowing me, I was somehow running late, I guess. No one was home when I showed up at the door at 2:10. I might have gotten the time wrong, or whatever. I also know they will be back at about 4:30pm, so I window shopped downtown Los Gatos. A pretty trendy downtown, with a lot of expensive stores. Window shop was all I can do.

Little did I know, baseball was in the whole scheme of things. To commemorate me becoming an US citizen, they created an All-American Faire. When I showed up at Kelli's at 4:30, she was busy in the kitchen, making two Apple Pies, from scratch. At this moment I was still rather clueless. I rolled up my sleeves and doved in to peeling apples and rolling out doughs. Next Maribel and Steve showed up with dinner ingredients. They bought all-american, old-fashioned Hot Dogs. Okay, now I see the pattern. So we are having a good old American dinner. Appetizer was Nachos with Velveeta cheese. Then Bob and Yvette showed up with KFC hot wings. Hot Dogs were served with Chili, relishes and onions. Good god, we are celebrating American culture. Bless their hearts though, at least they have enough class to not serve me Budweiser. Mainly because they couldn't see themselves drinking it also. They graciously provided Sierra Neveda instead.

After dinner, the tables were cleared for Easter egg decorating, for Sunday is Easter. Another western custom. After that came entertainment by the kids. Grant sang "Yankee Doddle Dandy", everyone sang "America the Beautiful". And during dessert, Danielle and Sarah sang "Miss American Pie". Well, short verses of it. They also included Weird Al's Star Wars version of it. Very funny indeed.

Kelli went out of her way to buy some gifts. She had a bumper sticker with "Proud to be an American", a box of Hostess cupcakes I have never had and an American flag. True to American economic model of out sourcing everything, this American flag proudly displayed a sticker "Made in China" on it. Ha, ha, funny. Nothing is made in US of A anymore, not even it's own flag.

Well, it was a fun evening overall. Creatively planned and thought out. What a great bunch of friends!! Oh, I would have loved to have made it to the baseball game now I see the whole scheme of things. The evening wasn't made any less because of it though.

Thought #2

2005-03-25T03:27:00.000-08:00

I came across this website Dailysnap via Daily Dose of Image. Both are excellent photoblogs. Dailysnap is run by Jessyel Ty Gonzalez and he has a quote on the end of his interview page that states: "Everyone is just a different shade of grey. Creativity is what sets you apart.

Profound. There are no right or wrong, nothing is just strictly black or white in this world. Everyone has a side to tell, everything is a shade of grey. Go mix your own shade.

I'm all US of A

2005-03-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, the 10th of March, I swore my devotion, pledged my allegiance to the United States of America. Now I'm officially a citizen of this land of ours.

The day was quite a spectacle. The ceremony took place at Masonic Auditorium in San Francisco. When I got there, I was asked to see my Alien Registration Card and told which section to sit. When I got to the door, it was requested I hand over my card. I handed it to the man, was told to take my seat, and he promptly walked away with my card. I never felt so naked, without the identification card that had identified me as a foreigner all these years. Where was he going to with that card of mine? What does he plan to do with it? How is he going to find me to hand it back to me among all these people? I sat anxiously, fidgetting endlessly.

I was running a bit late. The ceremony had already started. They had welcomed everyone here and started on the March of American Flag, or something like it.

Previously on Tuesday, I had a chat with my cousin Susan, who also immigrated here and now an US citizen. She now sports an US passport. She related me a story she had when she was applying for a visa to China. Her US passport used to list her birth country as Taiwan, but China wouldn't grant her entry into China with that because it doesn't recognize Taiwan as a country. She was so mad, but she ended up changing it to China. I guess I won't be going to China anytime soon, unless they change their policy. Yeah, I'm kind of stubborn like that. They can't take away my birth right.

The Master of Ceremony was applauding everyone for taking this important step to becoming an United States of America citizen. There were 1388 of us from a total of 108 countries. For a lot of the audieneces, it has meant a life-long goal, a dream come true. For a lot of these people, it also meant they can start the long process of getting all their family members to immigrate here. There was a certain vibe in the air, I couldn't deny the energy and felt swept up by the significance of it all. The MC really tried to make this a meaningful and dignified event. He would have called up each of us to hand us our certificate, but with this many people, it was not feasible. So instead, he called each country, alphabetically, and have us stand as our countries were called. Now the "A's" and "B's" were mostly some obscure countries. I must say I was surprised to see people from Australia and Canada. What in god's name would you want to be here? I want to be there, not here. When he called China, about a fourth of the room stood up. Now, from the Tuesday conversation I had with Susan, I'm sitting there, racing cross my mind, was "I'm not standing up for China. I'm not standing up for China. He better call Taiwan. He better call Taiwan. Or else... or else, I'll... I'll, I don't know what I'll do. Interesting enough, he called out Hong Kong. Hong Kong was never a country. I'm wondering how many people from China was really for Hong Kong. I had to anxiously wait until "T". At long last he called Taiwan. And let me tell you this, I have never stood prouder as a Taiwanese at that particular moment.

One of the thing that always held me back from applying for citizenship is the fact that the government required me to denounce my birth country and pledge my sole allegiance to United States. I've always felt as if I'm turning my back on a custom, culture and heritage. Never did I expect that I couldn't have celebrated my heritage anymore than that day, standing there as a Taiwanese. Who would have know that I was able to celebrate my heritage as I become an US citizen.

On Friday, my freelance customer, Nancy unexpectedly send a huge flower bouquet to the office, and my boss went out and bought a cake to celebrate the event too. Next weekend, Kelli, Brian, Bob, Yvette, Maribel and Steve are throwing me a dinner at Kelli's house to celebrate also. I'm forever grateful to all these friends for making it to be a big deal for me. The significance of becoming an US citizen might have escaped me without all these.

Yes, it is a big deal. Yes, I'm an American. No, I'm still every part as Taiwanese as before. My status has changed, but I have not. I know, still stubborn in my own ways, only now, it's about other things.

Thoughts #1

2005-03-06T23:47:00.000-08:00

Yestarday, Saturday, I went for an extended walk along Ocean Beach in San Francisco. Actually I was at first heading out over to Fort Funston for a field day photographing hang gliders. The plan went bust because I forgot to bring along the flash memory card for my camera. Instead I headed down toward the beach, being a most gorgeous day. Over head I spotted some hang gliders. To the immediate left I spotted 2 soaring seagulls. with their wings spread just like so gliding through the sky gracefully.

Thought: Hang gliders imitating bird. Human has forever been imitating nature, researching the laws of nature, modifying nature according to our needs. But, what is it that keeps us from becoming one with nature??

Uncoherent Thoughts

2005-03-05T02:30:00.000-08:00

I've been remiss lately. I've been working through some crap that I wish I could pawn them on some people. Is there a therapist so good that I could just drop my crap in his/her lap and come retrieve it later all put back in a coherent manner, good as new? That would be a godsend at this very moment.

Last night, I had a serious case of insomnia where my mind is racing with thoughts of him. I've been reading materials about relationship and love. I've been reading blogs about life in general. The thing about blogs is that there are so many well written thoughts to ponder on all day. It heightens and spotlights some of my own thoughts and feelings. I don't know if these are all helping or if these are making me internalize all my feelings.

Before I lay my head down to rest, I remembered the latest habit I started doing when we would say "good night" to each other. I would add "see you in the morning". One time he asked why I say that and where was I going. I replied with I will be going into my dreams. Well, last night, laying in bed, I started to think it was more than just that. The dream state is something I have no conscious control over. I could spend my conscious waking moments thinking of circumstances, happenings that revolved around me, him, us. In a dream state, the one part of being that I might not be able to have him in my thoughts. Thus, I bid him farewell til morning.

This morning, I was awaken from a phone call early. It usually is when I am abruptly awaken that I would remember my dreams. Well, what do you know. I dreamt about him. At the moment of waking up, the dream was somewhat a crumble, jumble bits and pieces that I tried hard to will it into a fitting story, like working out a puzzle. By the time I jump into the shower, and soaped up, the dream made absolutely no coherent sense at all. I don't really even know where to begin to recount the dream. I envy people who could remember their dreams.

Please send me a therapist. Sometimes I want to scream and crawl out of my skin so bad. Sometimes I'm so tired of being good and decent. Sometimes I wish I could be deceitful, mean, bitter, and just angry. But then, I would still need therapy.

I would never had imagined instead of saying "good night, see you in the morning." I would be saying "good night, see you in my dreams."

Sleep tight!

I still can't wrap my mind around this

2005-02-15T00:51:00.000-08:00

The New Yok Times has done a really excellent interactive site depicting the aftermath of the tragedy, complete with simulation of the wave patterns and time lines following the quake over at South Asia about more than 1.5 months ago.

Even after almost two months time and hearing countless stories, countless before and after photos, countless new reports, I still can't fathom the devastation and pendemonium going on half a world away.

How do I even begin to make sense of 212,000 death so far?How do I even begin to understand the millions and millions of lives altered forever? How do I even begin to describe the uplifting of human spirits as they will undoubtly rise out of this disaster?

Please give generously to the various organizations that are giving a helping hand. I have gave to The Red Cross and Doctors without Borders.

Four government employees in one day

2005-02-11T01:11:00.000-08:00

So on Monday, I kept my appointment this time with the Department of Homeland Security for my citizenship interview. Which is a good thing because when I entered into the Immigration Office, I spotted portraits of Dubya and Cheney with those smug smiles that irk me to no end, I just about run out of that building screaming. Luckily I didn't have to wait long for the elevator. I checked in with the receptionist who is on the phone chatting about dinner later. Government employee number one. She instructed me to wait in area B.

I have not been in this office for sometime, maybe in about 16 years. The government sure has redesign the waiting room and how people are processed. Yes, I feel like I 'm being processed like the first immigrants that came through Ellis Island. I always have an uneasy feeling that I'm treated like a second class citizen whenever I need to wrangle with immigration service. In fact, I detest it so, I had applied for citizenship once when I was in college, got the appointment letter, but never bother to show up for the interview. I hope they don't have a record of that.

I waited, waited, and waited. I hate waiting without knowing when the end will come. There is no number system like before. The interviewer comes out and call your name, but I have no idea of the order. Well, my appointment was at 10:00am and by 11:20am I started checking with others waiting what time their appointments were. This is how I found out a man was called before me that had an appointment one hour after mine. So, I nicely went up front to inquire with the receptionist about my appointment. This time she is chatting on her cell phone about something else. I was told to take my seat again. Just as soon as I sat down, my name was called.

The interviewer was a Chinese, who also reads Chinese. Government employee number two. He had a thick folder with all my records in them. Now, I didn't know there were so many records and papers about me. I was kind of curious what them all said. He was grilling me on the discrepancies of my formal legal name. Why does the passport have Gloria Yung-Ching Chen, which is my Chinese name, and why some paper have initials "Y.C." and some just have "Y". Well, I really don't know and I really don't understand what the big deal is. Some paperwork only have a space for one initial, and sometimes I don't feel like putting down my initials at all. What the hell does it matter? He has my driver license with my photo, passport with my photo, green card with my photo. I was at wits end what he was trying to get at. That I'm not who I say I am? Can we move pass this stage already? We agree that I would use my full name: Gloria Yung-Ching Chen. I just went along to get pass this stage. I'll be using just Gloria Chen in all my other documents. Thank you very much

I was expecting to take the test and get the hell out of there, but No. He had some more questions for me that I don't see any relevance to me becoming a citizen. Questions like: When did your parents receive their citizenship? I don't know. Do your sisters all have citizenship? Yes. When did they get theirs? I don't know. After some more of these questionings, we finally got to my application. Now, the application is a 9-page form with detail whereabouts of my residence and travels, lack of run in with the law, associations I belonged to at one point or another. Mostly with questions that in my mind are relevant to the government, but do we need to review each questions line-by-line? Because this is what we did for 30 minutes.

Him: You have ONLY belong to TWO clubs?
Me: Yes, that is what it says on the application.
Him: Nothing else?
Me: No.
Him: No communist club, or anything like that?

This was like wha?? Even if I did belong to one, isn't it in my right? My freedom? I'm starting to think this is all kind of strange. Next,

Him: You've only been out of the country ONCE?
Me: Yes, that is what it says on the application.
Him: No other place?
Me: Well, I did fly to Canada once but drove back down to Montana in 4 hours. The application said to list places that I traveled to for more than 1 day.
Him: Montana? Why did you do that for?
Me: I went to visit Glacier National Park and Calgary was the closest airport.
Him: Glacier? Too cold, what's there to see?

This was like wha? too. I wanted to see the glaciers, and why not? After some more of this type of questionings, I started to get the feeling that his job might just be so boring that he wants to hear espionage, illegal smuggling, or something. Or maybe it's my life that's boring. I had nothing to oblige him with. God, my life is boring.

Finally, he gave me the 10 question test. I had studied the 100 sample questions this morning as I was riding the train. I was prepared. The first questions he asked was: Name one of the three benefits of becoming a US citizen. I knew all three, but I replied: "To get a government job." Which I can tell, him being a government employee, was quite amused by my answer. He said: "Oh, really?" and then a deep chuckle. I almost laughed out loud too. I breezed through the test and got a stamp of recommendation to become a citizen. What the hell? A recommendation. What is this? What happened to a stamp of approval? To this, he said it's not up to him. The government has to review all the paperwork, but most likely you'll get a letter stating your swearing-in appointment. Now, I really want to know what's in all those files.

Another errand I had to do today was to visit the DMV. Another of my least favorite place to visit. Another second citizen treatment place. I had to obtain my driving record for Sierra Club ICO organization so I can be approved to drive minors on field trips in my car. Here I encountered government employee number three and government employee number four. You've all heard about the infamously insane wait at DMVs. Well, it's all true. Their number system is beyond my comprehension. I stand in a line to get a number, but the number start with a alphabet. Which is okay, I got a H029 number. What later confused me was that the only numbers that were called consistently were the numbers started with A or B. Occasional E and F. But no H. I have no idea the progression of how a number is call. Did I mention how I hate to wait without knowing the end of waiting? I hate waiting. After about 45 minutes, I decided to get in line again to ask the number handing out lady, government employee number three, what the deal is. My number was called while I was waiting in-line. Good. Government employee number four was painless, for I already have the form all filled out. All she did was punched in the number and out spit the laser of my driving record. My visit is consider painless by a lot of people's standard. I was out of there within 1 hour. A record, I tell you.

Well, yeepee, I'm becoming a citizen, pending swearing-in of course. And the benefit is I can be one of those people that moved me along the line today. The government employees. Yeah, right!

To have a voice

2005-02-07T02:55:00.000-08:00

Matthew Baldwin wrote of his sentiments on the State of the Union address..

"I used to write about politics fairly often on this site. And then a funny thing happened: Bush got re-elected. Please note that, by 'funny,' I don't mean funny 'hah hah' or funny 'strange,' but funny 'GODDAMMIT WTF??!!!'"...read more

He does a better job than I would have if I were to write about it. And yes, I feel a little burned out by the political process and the election itself. I have been tuning out news and have entertain thoughts of moving to Canada. David Suzuki pleads with us environmental progressive thinkers to stay here in United States to keep the politicians in-line.

Which Matthew also wrote a post on:

Of course, the most compelling reason for progressives to be optimist is simply this: they have no choice. If progressivism has any defining feature, it's that its proponents have the imagination to envision a better nation and the courage to work towards it. And in this race, rejecting the Republican's campaign of fear and smear and instead rallying behind a guy trying to unseat an incumbent president in the middle of a war was an act of optimism unparalleled in recent political history.

Oh, and one last thing. A lot of progressives are joking about "moving to Canada" -- myself included . But if you're one of those folks who insists that they are really, really considering it, please: do us all a favor and go. The Republicans will be happy to see you leave, and the rest of us don't really need you hanging around and reinforcing the stereotype that liberals (a) are so unpatriotic that they will ditch their nation in a time of need, and (b) feel entitled to the benefits of a government (like, Canada's) without having to work for it. If you're "totally serious" about moving this time, then pack up and head for the border, compadre. Otherwise, dig in your heels, roll up your sleeves, gird your loins and get ready to fight, like the rest of us intend to do... read more

I'm taking a serious step to contribute my two-cents tomorrow. I'm taking my citizenship test Monday. Wish me luck. Look out, politicians, one more voice is going to be heard!

The circle of life

2005-01-14T17:29:00.000-08:00

I went to visit my good friends, Bob Aron and his wife Yvette, this last Monday night. The visit was to drop off their Christmas presents for the family. They have two adorable daughters, ages 9 and 6, that I enjoy spending time and playing with them. After we put the children to bed, said our goodnights, we retired to the family-room and kitchen to catch up. I've always enjoyed listening to their various stories involving their families and their American childhood that seemed so different than mine. Bob was recounting on how when he was a child, he used to cover his hand in glue, wait until it dries, and slowly peel it back like shedding ones skin. Marveling at the oddity and coolness of an intact sheet of dried up glue that only a child's mentality can understand. We've all been there before as a child. He than was debating if he, as a parent, should show his children this cool "trick". I'm pretty sure the parents before us had all been at this moment before. What do we pass down to our children?
Children has this ability to allow us to relive our childhood, to reminiscent through our now experienced eyes and take us back to that innocent period. And as a parent, they also allow us to see through our parents eyes as when we were that child. That's the circle of life on a much more personal level.
Bob, go ahead and spread that glue on those tiny hands! It will be something they would recall when they are much older with their own children.

Life's lessons and its journey

2005-01-04T01:08:00.000-08:00

The holiday had come and gone. New Year was ushered in with renew hope and perhaps with a bit of sadness mixed in there. There is just no stopping the marching on of time. A wise man once said "Aging is not just decay, it's growth". There won't be growth without the passing of time. Last year has been a personal trying time as I picked up the fallen pieces and start life anew. The thing is, life changing events make us slow down and examine our life from the inside out. I've never looked and questioned my life and the meaning of it all as hard as I have of late. I am better for having taken this journey. I have learned how to seek my inner calm and stillness, my center, that quiets down my restlessness and gives me a better sense of well being. I have not lost my "self".
So, where do I go from here, after 10 years of associating with someone? Everywhere I go, I had an ulterior-self beside me, to accompany me. It was hard to give him up. The thing is, looking back now, I was in a situation with no future and good at denying it all. Now the future is all there for my taking. For as much as I hate to see an end of a beautiful friendship and a loving relationship, I am looking into a promising beginning. Where this beginning will take me, I do not know yet.
At first, I saw these 10 years as a wasted investment of time and energy. The curious thing is when I learned to let go, the more I seem to be able to keep the relationship as what it was. For as bad as how it all ended and how quickly he left, the relationship was never bad. We've had good times and good memories. The funny thing is he has always been puzzled about how our relationship doesn't seem to have ups and downs. At times, I question about that peak and valley too. But it's apparent he left on the dip of the relationship. Now, I've learned that relationship is not about its ups and downs, it's about those memories that are made and cherished. It's about the sharing of time and resources. It's about caring of each others well being.
Just like everyone assured me that it will get easier and life doesn't stop here, I've learned to let go and move on. I've met people, been to places, done things I might not have, act on my impulses. I am now seeing this journey worth taking, and I move on without regrets or resentments. I am blessed with friends and family that when I do seem to get side tracked down this journey, they've pulled and pushed me back down the path. They are taking this journey with me, like it or not.
This past year, I have filled my bookshelf with self help books, books about life's journey, books of freeing ones soul and following ones dreams. Fiction, non-fiction, travel journals, text books, I devour them all. I learned from them all, until they are now a part of me. All of them have been uplifting, some of them have been a wake up call. I will probably expound from these readings in my future posts here and there.
My new life's motto: "Connection requires participation". I live by it and am constantly amazed at the reciprocation from others. I feel more connected to people, this place, this world, and to life itself.

Holiday Greetings

2004-12-25T23:57:00.000-08:00

May there be good will toward all mankind.
May there be peace in every corner of the world.

May you still have faith and believe in the good of all people.
That's the meaning of Santa, his spirit is for all ages.
He lives on in my heart, I still believe.

Have a Happy Holidays as we bid farewell to 2004
and usher in a promising New Year.

Love you all,
Gloria

This is why we have the responsibility to respond

2004-12-11T02:39:00.000-08:00

"It may seem stupid to write so much about Iraq in this space.

Most of you agree with me that this is an unwarranted, illegal, bordering-on-genocidal war that needs to end ASAP.

Those who don't won't be convinced by anything I write.

So why bang on?

I've just read a book called At Hell's Gate: A Soldier's Journey from War to Peace. It's a memoir by Claude Anshin Thomas. At 17, he enlisted in the Amy and volunteered for service in Vietnam. His commanders told him he was bringing peace, but what he mostly did is kill:

...nearly every day that I was in Vietnam I was in combat. One of the many decorations I received was the Air Medal. To get an air medal, you must fly 25 combat missions and 25 combat hours. By the end of my tour, I had been awarded more than 25 air medals. That amounts to somewhere in the neighborhood of 625 combat hours and combat missions. All of those combat missions killed people....by the time I was first injured in combat (two or three months into my tour), I had already been responsible for the deaths of several hundred people.

When he came home, Thomas was still driven by rage. He joined the anti-war movement. He took drugs. He drank. He wanted to die. Then he cleaned up. But he was still tormented. Fortunately, he was invited to a retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh. Odd, he thought--my countrymen reject me, and yet this Vietnamese accepts me.

When Thich Nhat Hanh entered the room, Claude Thomas began to cry. 'I realized for the first time that I didn't know the Vietnamese in any way than as my enemy, and this man wasn't my enemy.'

The first great lesson of this book is something Thich Nhat Hanh tells the veterans: 'You are the light at the tip of the candle. You burn hot and bright. You understand deeply the nature of suffering.'

And then--and this is the part that has had me reeling for weeks--Thich Nhat Hanh goes on:

He told us that the nonveterans were more responsible for the war than the veterans. That because of the interconnectedness of all things, there is no escape from responsibility. That those who think they aren't responsible are the most responsible.

Consider that: 'Those who think they aren't responsible are the MOST responsible.'

That's every minister who presides over a service without mentioning Iraq. Every shopper who's 'in the holiday spirit' and doesn't want to be brought down by death and dying. Every parent who fails to talk about Iraq with the kids.

That's you. And you. And you. And, sometimes, me. And that is why--even if I'm just touching base with the choir--I need to talk about this stinking war until, finally, we get it to stop."

Jesse Kornbluth just echoed what I posted yesterday regarding taking responsibility for our actions/inactions/reactions as consumers. We are all participating in this global community. What we do and don't do affect another situation/person somewhere else. Once we lose that connectivity, we lose our personhood or humanness. No (wo)man is it's own island. (via FmH)

War is war

2004-12-09T01:43:00.000-08:00

There is no such thing as a right war or a just war. War is war no matter how you slice it, debate it. A life is lost, atrocity is committed.

This is what you won't see in the paper.

This is what you won't see on CNN or on MSNBC or CBS News or on any major media Web site anywhere and especially no goddamn way ever in hell will you see it within a thousand miles of Fox News.

You aren't supposed to see. You aren't supposed to know. You are to remain ignorant and shielded, and, if you're like most Americans, you have been very carefully conditioned to think Bush's nasty Iraq war is merely this ugly little firecracker-like thing happening way, way over there, carefully orchestrated and somewhat messy and maybe a little bloody but mostly still patriotic and good and necessary and sponsored by none other than God his own angry Republican self...

Funny thing is, many right-wing neocons consider the act of displaying such pictures unpatriotic, even traitorous. As if revealing the true horrors of war somehow disrespects our long-suffering soldiers, somehow harms them by depicting the full violence of what they must endure for Bush's snide and viciously isolationist policies. You think soldiers don't want the folks back home to know what they have to deal with? You think they want you numb to the truth of war and pain and death? Guess again.

Maybe this should be the rule: If you can't handle seeing what really goes on in a war, maybe you don't deserve to support it. If you can't stomach the truths of what our soldiers are doing and how brutally and bloodily they're dying and in just what manner they have to kill those innocent Iraqi civilians in the name of BushCo's desperate lurch toward greed and power and Iraqi oil fields and empire, maybe you don't have the right to stick that little flag on your oil-sucking SUV. Clear enough? Read more...

I've seen plenty of those gas-sucking SUV zipping around town and speeding up and down the interstate proudly displayed the USA flag and "I support our troops" bumper sticker. Those people just simply do not get what this war is sbout. And when they start to complain about the rising fuel price, they do not get any sympathy from me. They had a choice when they made a purchase for the car. They made the mistake of not being a conscious consumer, a responsible citizen of this world, which I strongly believe is the least we all can do to affect change from the most basic level. Vote with your dollars, it will speak louder than words sometimes. Oh, and all those gas-sucking SUV that proudly display "Keep Tahoe Blue" simply does not get it also. It's the CO2 emmision and the exhaust run-offs from your polluting unnecessary behemoth, stupid!

TECHNOREALISM

2004-12-08T01:46:00.000-08:00

In this heady age of rapid technological change, we all struggle to maintain our bearings. The developments that unfold each day in communications and computing can be thrilling and disorienting. One understandable reaction is to wonder: Are these changes good or bad? Should we welcome or fear them?

The answer is both. Technology is making life more convenient and enjoyable, and many of us healthier, wealthier, and wiser. But it is also affecting work, family, and the economy in unpredictable ways, introducing new forms of tension and distraction, and posing new threats to the cohesion of our physical communities.

Despite the complicated and often contradictory implications of technology, the conventional wisdom is woefully simplistic. Pundits, politicians, and self-appointed visionaries do us a disservice when they try to reduce these complexities to breathless tales of either high-tech doom or cyber-elation. Such polarized thinking leads to dashed hopes and unnecessary anxiety, and prevents us from understanding our own culture.

Over the past few years, even as the debate over technology has been dominated by the louder voices at the extremes, a new, more balanced consensus has quietly taken shape. This document seeks to articulate some of the shared beliefs behind that consensus, which we have come to call technorealism.

Technorealism demands that we think critically about the role that tools and interfaces play in human evolution and everyday life. Integral to this perspective is our understanding that the current tide of technological transformation, while important and powerful, is actually a continuation of waves of change that have taken place throughout history. Looking, for example, at the history of the automobile, television, or the telephone -- not just the devices but the institutions they became -- we see profound benefits as well as substantial costs. Similarly, we anticipate mixed blessings from today's emerging technologies, and expect to forever be on guard for unexpected consequences -- which must be addressed by thoughtful design and appropriate use.

As technorealists, we seek to expand the fertile middle ground between techno-utopianism and neo-Luddism. We are technology "critics" in the same way, and for the same reasons, that others are food critics, art critics, or literary critics. We can be passionately optimistic about some technologies, skeptical and disdainful of others. Still, our goal is neither to champion nor dismiss technology, but rather to understand it and apply it in a manner more consistent with basic human values. Read more...

I live in Silicon Valley and it is hard not to get swept up by all the technological hooplas. Engineers love technology and try to preach that it is the answer to everything, when in reality, technology can provide answers and also create just as much problems. Everything has its limitations and when human element is thrown into that equation, most of the time nothing is predictable, sometimes the behavior is not even what it is intended.

At my workplace, I use three computers to accomplish various tasks. I do tried to be low-tech as much as I want to in my personal life. This Mac G5 was purchase for the purpose of taking freelance design jobs, not for internet or blogging. Although I'm taking pleasure from internet information gathering and blogging, I do realize it takes away time to enjoy other activities. I do believe the less my life is slaved to gadgets, the more time I have to spend doing things I enjoy, such as the great outdoors. So for someone to convince me that I need certain gadgets, they would need to make me believe that my life will be truely enriched by the experience of what that technology can provide, not merely just owning it.

This article also makes me realize that I'm reading less and the information I do gather through the internet are more like sound bites. Although television can also do that to people, which is technology. (via rebeccablood)

One gulp, and Bush was gone

2004-11-30T23:41:00.000-08:00

Behind the scenes at the Clinton library, we saw America's future

At the dedication of the Clinton library last week in Little Rock, Karl Rove and President Bush received separate tours of the dramatic building, a glistening silver, suspended boxcar filled with light and with a panoramic view of the Arkansas river. Flung across the river stands an old railroad bridge - and to Clinton watchers, bridges represent 'the bridge to the 21st century', the former president's re-election slogan in 1996.

The opening ceremony was biblical in its spectacle, length and rain. For more than four hours we huddled in thin ponchos under the downpour, awaiting four presidents. For the Democrats among us - former advisers and cabinet secretaries, celebrity supporters and high school friends of Bill - this was an unofficial convention, a kind of counter-inaugural, with rueful discussions of the recent defeat.

John Kerry arrived to defiant cheering from the crowd. Then, when the presidents were announced, Bush tried to push his way past Clinton at the library door to be first in line, against the already accepted protocol for the event, as though the walk to the platform was a contest for alpha male. In his speech, Clinton sought to clarify the present by his broad analysis of globalisation - 'an age of interdependence with new possibilities and new dangers' - and the offer of conciliation: 'America has two great dominant strands of political thought; we're represented up here on this stage: conservatism, which at its very best draws lines that should not be crossed; and progressivism, which at its very best breaks down barriers that are no longer needed or should never have been erected in the first place.'

In his effort to transcend the division of America into two nations, red and blue, Clinton was attempting to demonstrate his tradition - the absence of dogma, the belief that good ideas can come from anywhere, and that solutions cannot be imposed but must be worked out in democratic politics, involving the arts of building coalitions, compromises and experimentation, of which he was the leading practitioner and survivor. Read more

I miss having a president that can form a relevant complete thought and speak the English language. Now, how can someone, who is so bright and had everything going in his professional life be so misguided in his personal life? For as much as he is admired by some people, he sure wasted his last three years of his presidency to accomplsih something great. Instead there will always be an asterick in his legacy.

I'm a Mother?

2004-11-28T23:04:00.000-08:00

This little quiz was directed to me by Orangejack. The funny thing is this is the secoond test result. The first test result says I'm a mild-mannered assisination victim, Abe Loncoln. Each test gave me a different set of questions, so I guess you can keep taking the test until you get an answer you can identify with. Although, I guess there are similarities in both personality traits. They both fight for the common people. One peacefully, one started a war.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

When I grow up

2004-11-27T03:25:00.000-08:00

This is a funny commercial pitch: When I grow up

I particularly like these ones:

Be a freak
Have people wonder what I do all day
Sit in client meetings and contribute absolutely nothing
A hack
Tell people what to do

The only thing that is true now is: go on press checks.

Happy Thanksgiving

2004-11-24T03:11:00.000-08:00

Sorry Everybody

2004-11-15T22:40:00.000-08:00

Found this site surfing around. I feel better now hearing from the other 48% of voting population. It was also heart warming to hear friends from foreign countries consoling our broken hearts, hopes and spirits. It is good to know they still stand by the People of the United States of America, the 48% anyways.

And thus we begin the next four years

2004-11-04T01:36:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day

Once a person has witnessed a war, they are forever changed
Ehren Tool, a marine

It is hard for me and my friends to understand how John Kerry was not elected as our president. Of all the three debates, all medias gave the debates to John Kerry. President Bush had his own family voted against him. Scott McConnell at The American Conservative magazine had endorsed Kerry. The rest of the world had voted Kerry 77%. Bush has lead us into a war under false pretenses. We are now running the highest deficit ever. Our future is being mortgaged as I write. Our rights are being taken away. We are looked upon and questioned when we uttered anything against the President and being labeled anti-patriotic. We are not any more secured. I do not feel any safer with Bush as Commander in Chief of this country. I kept close watch on CNN last night, tracking the electoral vote count as each state reports its tally. I watched incredulously as each state in the middle of USA gets colored red. Are we, those that lives on the West and East coast that different from the rest of the USA?

I have heard and read a lot of analysis of why Kerry lost, of how Bush won. Bush appeals to the good old traditional family value, pro-life, upholds marriage, have religious faith, blah, blah, blah... But wait just a minute, this almost accuses us, those who supported Kerry, of not holding those values close to our hearts too. I view family values just as important as the next person, certainly not any less important than a Republican would. I value my choices as a woman, a sister, an aunt and a daughter. Just because I am pro-choice does not make me an irresponsible sex and pleasure seeking freak. Pro-choice does not equate pro-abortion, nor does being against pro-life means I am not awed at the miracle of life. Marriage was once sanctified under the Church. Now civil unions are being granted under State Departments. Well, guess what? Those are called "marriage" too, without the involvement of the Church. All the gays and lesbians ask for are the rights granted under marriage. They do not intend to take your religion away. They do not intend to dilute your meaning of marriage. If the hang-up is in the word and the meaning of "marriage", then let them call it something else, but grant them the equal rights under the same rules of law. A senator once said on the congressional floor, "Call it what you want-civil rights, human rights, equal rights. The reality is, at the end of the day, it is still a right I don't have." As for religious faith, it should not be what governs this country. Much of the unrest in the Middle East is attributed to religion. We should not throw ourselves into the fray too. There is no victor in a religious war. We should have learned our lessons already. I do not want a Commander-in-Chief to run this country on faith. "A political candidate who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts, is not a person you want as your Commander-in-Chief." As said by non other than George W. Bush. View the video.

Now what? I begin the next four years with a sad and heavy heart. And to the rest of the world, who overwhelmingly voted for Kerry, I am really, really, really sorry. For the next four years, policies that are passed will have implications and be far-reaching in all corners of the globe. I hope this country for the People will have enough resolve to keep this government in check and balance.

Why Bush is unfit

2004-10-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Well, Monday has come and gone. The last day to register to vote in this year's presidential election has past. I still havn't heard from our so-called "Homeland Security Department" granting me a citizenship. Looks like this country will have to do without my vote on taking back our country. Today, I came across this article (via The Fishbowl) published in New York Times Magazine: Without a Doubt that pretty much says why George W. Bush is so "clear-eyed" about Al Qaeda and the Islamic Fundamentalist enemy.

Senator Joe Biden — ''I was in the Oval Office a few months after we swept into Baghdad,'' he began, ''and I was telling the president of my many concerns'' -- concerns about growing problems winning the peace, the explosive mix of Shiite and Sunni, the disbanding of the Iraqi Army and problems securing the oil fields. Bush, Biden recalled, just looked at him, unflappably sure that the United States was on the right course and that all was well. '''Mr. President,' I finally said, 'How can you be so sure when you know you don't know the facts?'"

Biden said that Bush stood up and put his hand on the senator's shoulder. ''My instincts,'' he said. ''My instincts.''

Biden paused and shook his head, recalling it all as the room grew quiet. ''I said, 'Mr. President, your instincts aren't good enough!'"

The Delaware senator was, in fact, hearing what Bush's top deputies -- from cabinet members like Paul O'Neill, Christine Todd Whitman and Colin Powell to generals fighting in Iraq -- have been told for years when they requested explanations for many of the president's decisions, policies that often seemed to collide with accepted facts. The president would say that he relied on his ''gut'' or his ''instinct'' to guide the ship of state, and then he ''prayed over it.''

We are sending our citizens, our children, our spouses, our fathers, our mothers to fight a war based on our president's instincts!? Absolutely incredulous! What and where are all the checks and balances in our government structure? Bush is the commandar-in-chief for our military but he is not our commandar-in-chief of our country. It is still our country and we want it back.

If you are on the same boat as I am, you can cast your vote here. Globalvote2004.org is totally neutral. You may vote for any candidate coonfidentially and only once. They will count the vote 48 hours before the election in U.S.A and submit the result to the media letting US citizens know what the world's sentiments are on our candidates.

So Cast your vote one way or the other. We all can iinfluence what might be a tight race.
The above website was contributed by Ivan

Colorstrology

2004-10-13T01:26:00.000-07:00

We live in a colorful world and these shades of color convey different feelings to us. What does the color blue say to you? What does the color red feel to you? We all perceive color differently through the rods and cones in our eyes. How many times do we stop and marvel at all the different color spectrum displayed in our sky? As the sun rises, the orange of the sun gives way to the blue. As sun sets, the blue in the sky changes to the orange, rose, purple then grey to reveal the stars in our night sky.

This past Saturday, I joined a bunch of star gazers at Crestview Park in San Carlos as we track the stars, galaxies, and planets. Amongst the group was a educational planner working for San Francisco's Exploratorium. She was designing and planning a new exhibit that will teach us how diversely colorful is our sky. We tend to label sky as an generic blue. What shade of blue? Is it more purple? A light blue? In this part of the Bay Area, it could just be a haze due to the pollution.

We all have a favorite color because of what that color makes us feel. But maybe that color actually says something personal about you. Pantone creates and maintains a set color standard for my field in printing. They launched a site that takes your birthday and designates a color pallet. Much like a birthstone.

The colors that we see all around us are a reflection of the sun's light in all its glory. It is magic made visible. Theres is nothing more miraculous, unexpected or wonderous than seeing a rainbow appear in the sky.

You are part of that rainbow of light and just as being born on a particular day under a particular Sun sign offers insights into your personlaity and nature, there is also a personal color that corresponds to the real you. It is a color that reflects the very essence of your specific birth date.

This is a very well design site with nice graphic and interface.

Check out your color and see if you agree with them or not. My birth month May is Bud Green (green has always been my favorite color) and my birthdate 21st is Mandarin Orange (that might explain the orange here). And next time as you are hurrying somewhere, stuck in traffic, stop and marvel at the color of the sky. You might be amazed that it is not what should be the color of the sky as you know it.

Now I feel like a geek

2004-09-23T23:40:00.000-07:00

Back in 1999, when my dear sister Melissa was diagnosed with Leukemia and in her honor I had dedicated myself to train for a century bike ride with the Leukemia Society to raise funds for the foundation. I put together a donation mailing package which included an origami swan. The symbol of the swan originated from Japan where a young girl was stricken with the cancer and started folding swans as therapy. After she had passed, thousands of people folded swans in her honor for the message of hope. My co-worker than, Zepha, had mentioned she had known of a person who is able to demonstrate and solve mathematical equations by the art of origami. This information and concept was interesting and was filed away in my gray matter.

Fast forward to July, 2004. TheaterWorks, a local regional performing theater opens its house to the public for dress rehearsal. On this day, they were showing Arcadia by Tom Stoppard. In the play, it introduces fractal geometry, second law of thermodynamics, chaos theory. The play is set in two time periods, the 1800's and the present. Thomasina, a thirteen year old, is a mathematical genius far ahead of her time. Septimus, her tutor encourages her to work on a solution to Fermat's last theorem.

Each week I plot your equations dot for dot, xs against ys in all manner of algebraical relation, and every week they draw themselves as commonplace geometry, as if the world of forms were nothing but arcs and angles. God's truth, Septimus, if there is an equation for a curve like a bell, there must be an equation for one like a bluebell, and if a bluebell, why not a rose? Do we believe nature is written in numbers?

She later on wrote in her workbook:

I, Thomasina Coverly, have found a truly wonderful method whereby all the forms of nature must give up their numerical secrets and draw themselves through number alone.

Now in the present, a mathematician Valentine discovers Thomasina workbook and profuse enthusiastically about the mathematical chaos theory.

The math isn't difficult. It's what you did at school. You have an x and y equation. Any value for x gives you a value for y. So you put a dot where it's right for both x and y. Then you take the next value for x which gives you another value for y......what she's doing is, every time she works out a value for y, she's using that as her next value for x. And so on. Like a feedback....If you knew the algorithm, and fed it back say ten thousand times, each time there'd be a dot somewhere on the screen. You'd never know where to expect the next dot. But gradually you'd start to see this shape, because every dot will be inside the shape of this leaf.

Further more, Val goes on to explain the chaos theory, where random events intervene to shape lives. Nature is written in numbers.

If you knew the algorithm and fed it back, say, ten thousand times, each time there'd be a dot somewhere on the screen. You'd never know where to expect the next dot. But gradually you'd start to see this shape, because every dot will be inside the shape of this leaf. It wouldn't be a leaf, it would be a mathematical object. But yes. The unpredictable and the predetermined unfold together to make everything the way it is. It's how nature creates itself, on every scale, the snowflake and the snowstorm.

Then onto September 17, 2004, I came across this post by Ivan on his CreativeBits weblog. (BTW, this is a weblog I read everyday.) He wrote about the Fibonacci's numbers, which lead to the famous Phi number and the golden mean. The theory of the Golden Ratio explains how nature works. The rules and laws that govern growth. You will never look at artichoke the same way again.

Everything in our universe, such as the shape of hurricanes, the way the trees grow, the way the petals are arranged in a flower and even the structure of the human skeleton are all arranged by the golden means.

This last weekend, I went to the Belmont Art Festival, it was rather paltry. I was stumbling around the community center and came upon a local artist gallery. They were exhibiting Counterparts: Art from Mathematics on, you guess it, number theory! It featured three artist: Dale Seymour, Nancy Macko, and Robert Lang.

Dale Seymour's work brought together the amazing patterns and the relationships in math by using geometric forms: tessellations, polyhedral, the golden ratio. Nancy Macko presented two versions of The First Ten Prime Numbers, images about the building block of mathematics. Robert Lang, now his was of interest. He made geometric origami from a single-sheet of paper without cutting. This is the Golden Ratio explained through origami. Zepha, you are so right.

Now, I've always had a skill to pick up and decipher patterns rather effortlessly. I've always love to look at patterns for its art form, but nothing ever was put to me so scientifically. This was a theory that I've practiced and performed in everyday life but never before explained, understood, or looked at in a scientific way.

Poles apart, yet inseparable, art and mathematics are the Oscar Madison and Felix Unger of world culture. Mathematics is "counterpart" to art in both senses of the term: something that closely resembles something else, something that is a natural complement to something else. Patricia Albers, curator

Thanks to all for a lesson learned.

To read more about Arcadia and it's mathematical ideas visit this website.

Parts of speech

2004-09-15T22:55:00.000-07:00

Action Inquiry
by Bill Torbert listed these four essential parts of speech in forming a discussion.

Framing - stating the purpose for the present discussion, what dilemma is to be resolved, what assumptions are shared or not shared.
Advocating - asserting an option, perception, feeling or strategy for action
Illustrating - telling a bit of a story that puts the meat on the bones of the advocacy
Inquiring - questioning others to learn something from them."

Framing and advocating are the areas I am weak on. I do question others alot and I do try to illustrate my points. Sometimes my mind will be racing with an illustration or response instead of listening to what other is really saying.

Furthermore, this notion is covered by William Howell's Empathic Communicator. He suggests we all practice what he termed "internal monologue".

By "internal monologue" he means the internal or "covert" salf-talk that's often going on. The central point is that your "covert" communicating is always affecting your "overt" communicating, and that these effects can be damaging unless you learn to manage your internal monologue. It represents unnecessary scripting that reduces communcation effectiveness.

This is humorous

2004-09-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

The Japanese craving for western culture is exhibited here at this site. Anything, and everything in English will catch attention in print and advertising.

Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design. Engrish can be found all over the world, but the vast majority of the really funny and creative Engrish is from Japan. English is used as a design element in Japanese products and advertising to give them a modern look and feel (or just to "look cool"). There is often no attempt to try to get it right, nor do the vast majority of the Japanese population (= consumers) ever attempt to read the English design element in question. There is therefore less emphasis on spell checking and grammatical accuracy.

Off to the mountains

2004-09-03T16:17:00.000-07:00

For the upcoming labor day weekend, the official weekend to mark the end of the summer (bummed), I am heading up to Truckee with a few friends of mine from college days. We are partaking into excess of everything we do. Mostly just excess of hanging around, doing nothing, and eating, of course. That's the motto of the Aron family anyways. The motto being "If it is worth doing, it's worth doing to excess." Aahh! The indulgence of life with friends is always a good remedy from our hurried world.
No, really, we are not just doing nothing (double negatives here). This weekend is the Aron family's Sixteenth Annual Aarrooone Cup Tournament. What is this? You ask. It is a model aircraft race. We custom build model aircraft from balsa wood, mount an engine, attach it with a pylon line to a pylon swivel and then measure the average speed over 10 laps. The whole sit-up and the rig for calculating the speed was the brainchild of Jim Aron. His invention was quite ingenious. The very first Aarrooone Cup air race's top speed was at 38.04mhp. Last year, the speed tops out at about 66.452782mhp, which is the Aarrooone Cup World Record. That is some progess, my friends. This event just gets bigger and bigger every year. And every year some stuff is being added and improved. One year, The Family repainted and added landing circles to the garage floor. Another year, they added grandstand to their horseshoe pit. There always seem to have project to start and finish.
Every year, for the following Sunday, we would spend a lazy afternoon floating down the truckee river. The word for this year, though, is the river is too low. They are not letting water out of the dam by the Fanny Bridge. The name Fanny Bridge was so named because people stick their butts out to look below the bridge. So, this year, I managed to impose myself on Bob and family to bring my bike up with them. I've been wanting to bike along Lake Tahoe ever since I did some bike events with The Luekemia Society.
I must log-off now and do some packing for the 4-hour trekk up highway 80. Let the good time, food, and wine flow! Now, I must leave you with the wise words of
William Shakespear

I wish you well and so I take my leave, I Pray you know me when we meet again.

About Contentment

2004-09-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day:

Contentment regarding clothes: "It is a mistake to think that it is really worthwhile to spend more on food, clothing, and adornments just because you have more money. Rather, spend more on health and education for poor people. This is not forced socialism but voluntary compassion."
Contentment regarding shelter: "Also it is essential for monastics to be satisfied with adequate shelter. An elaborate home is not allowed." "Lay people can adapt this practice by reducing the neverending quest for a better home and for the furniture and decorations in it."
How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life, Dalai Lama

Today's quote was contributed by Chris sometime ago. It has recently directed my thoughts along these lines.

What does it mean to be content, to feel content? What does the word itself mean? Dictionary term: not desiring more than what one has; satisfied. Resigned to circumstances, assenting.

There seem to be an angst toward this word in our culture. Does fear of contentment actually create the very anxiety we have? The need to always reach for the moon? The need to always be ahead of every country or perish? Doesn't this breed paranoia?

The western civilization sees contentment as an undesirable thing. We see it as no progress, as being idle at one place, no growth, stagnant, emptiness. Onward and upward, right? We are not merely satisfied with the things we have. I'm not advocating that this is all bad. Many technological advances are possible because we are always pushing the envelope. Many theories are challenged because we are always searching and questioning. But we must also question what are the consequences. We are forever chasing a loftier goal, a greater, better objective. We don't seem to have the time and the luxury to pause and ponder.

Rollo May wrote in The Significance of the Pause: There seems to be no pause in technology. Or when there is, it is called a "depression" and is denied and feared. But pure science is a different matter. Albert Einstein remarks that "the intervals between the events are more significant than the events themselves." Pause is the prerequisite for wonder. When we don't pause, when we are perpetually hurrying from one appointment to another, from one "planned activity" to another, we sacrifice the richness of wonder. And we lose communication with our destiny.

The eastern civilization preaches the beauty of just be. It advocates unity in the community and the greater society. The teaching of Lao Tsu in his Tao Te Ching preaches simplicity. "Profit comes from what is there, Usefulness from what is not there.
Lao Tsu says,

We put thirty spokes to make a wheel;
But it is on the hole in the center that the use of the cart hinges.
We make a vessel from a lump of clay;
But it is the empty space within the vessel that makes it useful.
We make doors and windows for a room;
But it is the empty spaces that make a room livable.
Thus, while existence has advantages,
It is the emptiness that makes it useful.

During meditation, the nature within ourselves find unity with the nature of the earth. Their luxury to pause perhaps feeds their souls instead of their desires.

Yes, the western civilization is the modern civilization. We have better living standard. We have many technological advances that simplifies our lives. But does it really simplify? Or does it really limit us? Ever feel how useless everything is during a black-out? Or perhaps it just makes our lives easier? But does it enrich our lives? The eastern civilization lives in a harsher environment than we do, but they find the beauty in the simplicity. They find that the quality of life not the quantity of life is the difference. So, with all these achievements in the modern world, we are feeding our desires. But are we starving our souls at the same time?

The problem I see is that we tend to act self-centered instead of thinking we are part of this global community, so we take. We tend to live in the physical world rather than think of our beings along the spiritual world, so we want.

If only bike can vote...

2004-09-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night, a person by the name of John Kerry responded to my previous night's post regarding Joshua Kinberg's protest using his bike. Could this be The Senator, John Kerry? What's he doing toiling late at night surfing websites? Shouldn't he instead be thinking of some ways to ease the burden of ordinary citizens, improve the quality of life, better management of our natural resources?
To his comment. I only wish bikes could vote. Surely, they would vote Bush out of office. Wait, I only wish I could vote. I would vote for you, John Kerry, if you allow legalized residents to vote. Wait, I can't vote for you. I CAN'T vote! Arrrgh!

Bikes Against Bush

2004-08-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Bikes Against Bush
Bikes Against Bush is an interactive protest/performance occurring simultaneously online and on the streets of NYC during the 2004 Republican National Convention. Using a wireless Internet enabled bicycle outfitted with a custom-designed printing device, the Bikes Against Bush bicycle can print text messages sent from web users directly onto the streets of Manhattan in water-soluble chalk.

Joshua Kinberg was planning on protesting and demonstrating his political "art" piece during the Republican Convention in New York City, but was arrested before show time. He was just giving an interview on the street when the cops arrived. I have no idea with what the police will charge him. He hasn't even committed an act when the cops showed up. His website has a video of his demo run of the project and also a clip of his arrest.
His invention is absolutely ingenious and original. I will keep a tab on his website to see if this project will ever have a go on primetime

This Land is our land

2004-08-27T01:43:00.000-07:00

by JibJab.com
I came across this most excellent cartoon jabbing at both political candidates that is shaping up to be an interesting election year. The media is even more so involved with shaping the opinions and minds of people than previous elections. With the wide spread use of the internet, information is out there for us to get to the bottom of the issues that interest us. No longer are we just fed data from the newspaper, radio, and television, we are now able to seek out news from varying points of view that might not align with our own. Now add the recent interest in documentaries to that list. We should be questioning more and more. Always question, it will expand our minds.
I always dislike the practice of voting along the party line. We should vote on the principle of the issues. I always dislike the practice of voting from the pocketbook. We should again vote on the principle of the issues.
I have a little disclaimer to insert here. I can not yet vote. I am not a US citizen even though I have been here for 2/3 of my life. Yes, I had voter apathy. But the election from 4 years ago changed that. The event of 9/11 changed that. The outrageous and wrongful actions in Washington this last two years changed that. This time I want my voice heard. So, I've applied for citizenship but it does not appear that I will be able to register in time for this election. I received a nice letter from our "Homeland Security Department" that it might take them 450 DAYS to process my application. This is my tax dollar at work, and I have not a say!
Maybe I can change some opinions, start some questioning from this weblog of mine. It will also be a source for me to explore my reasoning and thought process. Everything seems to be clearer written down, everything seems to raise more questions written down also. As before, always question.
I have just own a computer for 4 months and surfing the web has proven to be addictive. I have not turn on my television set for that amount of time. I've always thought TV programming dumbs down to the public to appeal to a greater audience, I believe that even more now. What is the deal with all those reality tv programs? Are our lives such a bore that we crave to live through the drama of other ordinary folks? And really, how "real" and "true" can it be when it is edited down to the most shocking, gripping, disturbing events? Come to think of it, weblog can certainly be viewed that way too. People writing about their daily happenings, presented in an interesting manner. I've never read a weblog that says "Today, nothing exciting happened." I ought to have an exact entry in the near future. But knowing me, I'll probably ramble on about how ordinary it is that it just might become interesting.
Well, this certainly is a random rambling post started by the above mentioned cartoon. Check it out. It will have you rolling on the floor.

Too much information?

2004-08-26T02:19:00.000-07:00

As I contribute yet another blog entry, I've been thinking that there are just too much information these days. Are we overloaded with information? We are a society of too much of everything. Sometimes I think we are hampered by too many choices. A large amount of our time are spent in making not just the right decisions, but the PERFECT decision. Just look at the aisles of our supermarkets.
Then, I came across this entry on the web, from what else? Looking for tipbits of information. It is a good write-up of how the blog community sprang up. Granted, it is an old article, her view point on the importance and the dynamics of weblog is still valid.

Essays::weblogs: a history and perspective
by Rebecca Blood
As we are increasingly bombarded with information from our computers, handhelds, in-store kiosks, and now our clothes, the need for reliable filters will become more pressing. As corporate interests exert tighter and tighter control over information and even art, critical evaluation is more essential than ever. As advertisements creep onto banana peels, attach themselves to paper cup sleeves, and interrupt our ATM transactions, we urgently need to cultivate forms of self-expression in order to counteract our self-defensive numbness and remember what it is to be human.

We are being pummeled by a deluge of data and unless we create time and spaces in which to reflect, we will be left with only our reactions. I strongly believe in the power of weblogs to transform both writers and readers from "audience" to "public" and from "consumer" to "creator." Weblogs are no panacea for the crippling effects of a media-saturated culture, but I believe they are one antidote.

Dan Gillmor's glance of journalism today

2004-08-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

We the Media-Grassroots of Journalism by the People, for the People
by Dan Gillmor

We freeze some moments in time. Every culture has its frozen moments, events so important and personal that they transcend the normal flow of news.
Americans of a certain age, for example, know precisely where they were and what they were doing when they learned that President Franklin D. Roosevelt died. Another generation has absolute clarity of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. And no one who was older than a baby on September 11, 2001, will ever forget hearing about, or seeing, airplanes exploding into skyscrapers.
In 1945, people gathered around radios for the immediate news, and stayed with the radio to hear more about their fallen leader and about the man who took his place. Newspapers printed extra editions and filled their columns with detail for days and weeks afterward. Magazines stepped back from the breaking news and offered perspective.
Something similar happened in 1963, but with a newer medium. The immediate news of Kennedy’s death came for most via television; I’m old enough to remember that heartbreaking moment when Walter Cronkite put on his hornrimmed glasses to glance at a message from Dallas and then, blinking back tears, told his viewers that their leader was gone. As in the earlier time, newspapers and magazines pulled out all the stops to add detail and context.
September 11, 2001, followed a similarly grim pattern. We watched—again and again—the awful events. Consumers of news learned the what about the attacks, thanks to the television networks that showed the horror so graphically. Then we learned some of the how and why as print publications and thoughtful broadcasters worked to bring depth to events that defied mere words. Journalists did some of their finest work and made me proud to be one of them.
But something else, something profound, was happening this time around: news was being produced by regular people who had something to say and show, and not solely by the “official” news organizations that had traditionally decided how the first draft of history would look. This time, the first draft of history was being written, in part, by the former audience. It was possible—it was inevitable—because of new publishing tools available on the Internet.
Another kind of reporting emerged during those appalling hours and days. Via emails, mailing lists, chat groups, personal web journals—all nonstandard news sources—we received valuable context that the major American media couldn’t, or wouldn’t, provide.
We were witnessing—and in many cases were part of—the future of news.
Read More

Lately, I've been toying around the idea of creating a weblog. Really, who out there will care or even spend time to read my random thoughts of the day? Yet, I'm often at my computer reading about other people's ideas and discussions. So, hey, "why not?" is the question. Dan Gillmor's observation of the tools provided for people to publish on the internet is transforming the way news, thoughts and ideas are delivered and generated. The People is able to write and read history as it is happening around us instead of learning history as in the past through academicians. We are living history. Happy reading!