Tuesday, January 04, 2005
On this day:
Life's lessons and its journey
The holiday had come and gone. New Year was ushered in with renew hope and perhaps with a bit of sadness mixed in there. There is just no stopping the marching on of time. A wise man once said "Aging is not just decay, it's growth". There won't be growth without the passing of time. Last year has been a personal trying time as I picked up the fallen pieces and start life anew. The thing is, life changing events make us slow down and examine our life from the inside out. I've never looked and questioned my life and the meaning of it all as hard as I have of late. I am better for having taken this journey. I have learned how to seek my inner calm and stillness, my center, that quiets down my restlessness and gives me a better sense of well being. I have not lost my "self".
So, where do I go from here, after 10 years of associating with someone? Everywhere I go, I had an ulterior-self beside me, to accompany me. It was hard to give him up. The thing is, looking back now, I was in a situation with no future and good at denying it all. Now the future is all there for my taking. For as much as I hate to see an end of a beautiful friendship and a loving relationship, I am looking into a promising beginning. Where this beginning will take me, I do not know yet.
At first, I saw these 10 years as a wasted investment of time and energy. The curious thing is when I learned to let go, the more I seem to be able to keep the relationship as what it was. For as bad as how it all ended and how quickly he left, the relationship was never bad. We've had good times and good memories. The funny thing is he has always been puzzled about how our relationship doesn't seem to have ups and downs. At times, I question about that peak and valley too. But it's apparent he left on the dip of the relationship. Now, I've learned that relationship is not about its ups and downs, it's about those memories that are made and cherished. It's about the sharing of time and resources. It's about caring of each others well being.
Just like everyone assured me that it will get easier and life doesn't stop here, I've learned to let go and move on. I've met people, been to places, done things I might not have, act on my impulses. I am now seeing this journey worth taking, and I move on without regrets or resentments. I am blessed with friends and family that when I do seem to get side tracked down this journey, they've pulled and pushed me back down the path. They are taking this journey with me, like it or not.
This past year, I have filled my bookshelf with self help books, books about life's journey, books of freeing ones soul and following ones dreams. Fiction, non-fiction, travel journals, text books, I devour them all. I learned from them all, until they are now a part of me. All of them have been uplifting, some of them have been a wake up call. I will probably expound from these readings in my future posts here and there.
My new life's motto: "Connection requires participation". I live by it and am constantly amazed at the reciprocation from others. I feel more connected to people, this place, this world, and to life itself.
So, where do I go from here, after 10 years of associating with someone? Everywhere I go, I had an ulterior-self beside me, to accompany me. It was hard to give him up. The thing is, looking back now, I was in a situation with no future and good at denying it all. Now the future is all there for my taking. For as much as I hate to see an end of a beautiful friendship and a loving relationship, I am looking into a promising beginning. Where this beginning will take me, I do not know yet.
At first, I saw these 10 years as a wasted investment of time and energy. The curious thing is when I learned to let go, the more I seem to be able to keep the relationship as what it was. For as bad as how it all ended and how quickly he left, the relationship was never bad. We've had good times and good memories. The funny thing is he has always been puzzled about how our relationship doesn't seem to have ups and downs. At times, I question about that peak and valley too. But it's apparent he left on the dip of the relationship. Now, I've learned that relationship is not about its ups and downs, it's about those memories that are made and cherished. It's about the sharing of time and resources. It's about caring of each others well being.
Just like everyone assured me that it will get easier and life doesn't stop here, I've learned to let go and move on. I've met people, been to places, done things I might not have, act on my impulses. I am now seeing this journey worth taking, and I move on without regrets or resentments. I am blessed with friends and family that when I do seem to get side tracked down this journey, they've pulled and pushed me back down the path. They are taking this journey with me, like it or not.
This past year, I have filled my bookshelf with self help books, books about life's journey, books of freeing ones soul and following ones dreams. Fiction, non-fiction, travel journals, text books, I devour them all. I learned from them all, until they are now a part of me. All of them have been uplifting, some of them have been a wake up call. I will probably expound from these readings in my future posts here and there.
My new life's motto: "Connection requires participation". I live by it and am constantly amazed at the reciprocation from others. I feel more connected to people, this place, this world, and to life itself.
Comments:
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sounds like you're in a great place now...emotionally and physically...i always see each relationship as an experience...either it's good or bad...either i learn from it or i cherish it...but as much as i'd like to think that things are forever, it's hard to control those factors...just take care of yourself and know that only you can make you happy...loves ya!
-andrew.
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-andrew.
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